are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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