I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Randomize
