I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize