i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Randomize
