It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
