It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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