I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
I think I just shit out all my problems.
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