So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
