Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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