piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
