No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Randomize