he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
