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• (807): View more from Ontario

  I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.

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• (561): View more from Florida

  Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  yo everyone went to the hospital last night

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• (347): View more from New York

  I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.

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• (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE

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• (509): View more from Washington

  Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.

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• (618): View more from Illinois

  Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka

  (816): View more from Missouri

  You're so demanding.

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• (479): View more from Arkansas

  PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.

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• (518): View more from New York

  Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.

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• (+27): View more from South Africa

  Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.

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