i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
