If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
