You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
