epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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