Why does Corona taste like a burp?
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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