Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Randomize