I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
