i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
