this beer tastes like vomit already
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize