it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
