Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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