i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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