First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
