PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
