i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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