You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
