He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
