great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
