i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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