I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
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