Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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