Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
