i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Randomize
