Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
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