it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
