clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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