ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
