I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
