No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
