let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
