either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize