so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
