I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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