She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
