I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
