guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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