I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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