i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
