Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Randomize
