If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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