Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
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