So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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