OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
