Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
