I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
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I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
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He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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