You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I need to stop coming to work sober
Barsexuality is the new black.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
