so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
