You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
