so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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